What is your self-love language

what is your self-love language

What is your self-love language? Do you know?

I have written before about self-care and self-love is another aspect of this.

There are so many ways to express self-love, but it is not always easy to understand what this could truly mean.

In my younger days I remember feeling like self-love was selfishness.

That was because I did not understand its full meaning.

Self-love is a sort of selfishness, but in a good and healthy way.

I have come to learn that self-love is a way of taking care of yourself.

In a world of negativity, we still tend to be our harshest critics.

Self-love teaches us to be kinder to ourselves. After all we can not expect to world to be kind to us, this only leads to disappointment.

Apart from that, self-love is an amazing way to help you through a burnout, depression, and homesickness, to name a few, and it does it in a gentle and a calm loving way.

There are 5 self-love languages.

heart tree


Not all of us have to luxury to just pack up and leave when we feel overwhelmed or have the time or money for a day out to pamper yourself.

Luckily it is all about quality and not quantity.

It’s about doing something that you enjoy doing that helps you to recharge your batteries.

This could be as simple as:

 a cup of tea,

reading a book

taking a nap or a hot shower.

Doing something creative

Again, the point is to enjoy an activity and to recharge.

You can also read my post on self-care.

Acts of service

This one sound dodgy, I know, but hang in there.

What this actually means is all the small day to day thing you do to take care of yourself.

It can also refer to completing the things that need doing or have been neglected.

This could refer to such things as:

Running to the shops,

Cleaning the house,

Preparing a healthy meal,

Planning the week ahead,

Or talking to a life coach.

It could also refer to doing nothing for a day

vintage hanging up washing

Physical touch

Sounds dirty, I know, but in this case, it means to be more connected with your body.

We are so often busy with our lives that we often forget to connect with ourselves.

Ways to connect with yourself could be.

Practicing yoga and meditation,


Skincare and grooming,

Put on makeup every day, even if you are at home,

Epsom salt bath to help detox your body.

You get the general idea.

Receiving gifts

Sounds good, right?

But don’t forget that these are gifts to yourself and not from another.

We are learning the self-love languages after all.

So, what could these gifts look like?

Create a gift for yourself by making it,

Shop for crafting supplies,

Go out for a coffee,

Redecorate/declutter/reorganize your home,

The idea is to treat yourself, within your means, and be aware that it is a gift for you from you.

Words of affirmation

Talking to yourself is one of my strengths. I am constantly talking out loud to myself when I am alone.

In my earlier years, the conversation was negative, but as time when on and I began to love and take care of myself more, it has become more loving and forgiving.

Here are some things you can do to create more positive inner dialogue.

Speak kindly to yourself,

Keep a gratitude journal,

Or just any journal,

Remind yourself that you are human, and you are allowed to make mistakes,

Make a list of all your strengths and attributes.

All the above information, as I am sure you are aware of, is not new. It has been inspired by Dr Garry Chapman, who has written many books on the language of love.

You can follow the link to his website HERE.

He also provides a quiz you can do to discover your preferred love language.

You can follow that link HERE.

You can find me on LinkedIn

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